Are you sure? Read what an American said to Malaysia’s press today, “Although Malaysia is multi-religion and multi-national, we still can be friend. Everywhere I go, I will get the good service and many people will talk with me as polite as possible without prejudice. But you will not get it at New York, my state.”

That is not from Malaysian but from citizen of New York – the politeness city! Malaysian’s culture and western culture are different and people cannot judge us because it will be comparison between East and West!

One woman, refusing to hold a door open, sneered to a Reader’s Digest researcher: "I’m not a doorman; it’s not my job to hold doors. If someone gets hurt, they should be quicker." – Yes, it is true! However, if you look at Western, they just open the door for someone special and not for his mother! What is the meaning of polite in this context? I think Asian more polite because they did not hypocrite and fair to all people and the greatest thing is they will open it for his mother!

At Malaysia, it will be the rudest thing if you enter the house with the shoes but it is not for Western. One more thing about said ‘thank you’. I am one of the people that do not know how to say thank you after I got the service. Nevertheless, I will smile. Malaysian’s smile is cute! Sometime you cannot read their smile. Maybe you cannot see they are smiling to you because after smile they will say, “Okay, next!” I am sure the Reader’s Digest researcher goes to the busy place and why do not she / he go to the place that not so much people there? From my experience, when they are not busy, they will give you the sweetest smile for the clients. Or maybe when they did this survey, they go to the ‘problem woman’ ( got period ).

Thank goodness because they did survey at Kuala Lumpur and not at my place, Malacca. For your information, Malacca is the rudest state in Malaysia. Why? I am Malaccan and I knew the Malaccan’s style when they are talking with someone. For who did not understand the Malaccan’s culture you will be surprise when you hear a Malaccan said, “Hoi lahabau! Lama tak jumpa?! Aku ingat kau dah mampus!”

“Hey lahabau [it is a unfriendly word and it same like the f word – but it is not f word meaning]! Long time not see?! I thought you r died!”

However, for Malaccan it will hear like this. “Hey, my friend! Long time not see?! How are you?” That why, ‘the lahabau’ ( his friend ) will not upset because he know that his friend did not think to abusing him. Malaccan people just want it be informal relationship and got some humor in their conversation.

At Malaysia, respect others are so important. You can see when Erra Fazira and Yusri divorced; they ( the reporters ) did not force both of them to comment what happened between them but I think in Western culture, respect is not in their dictionary for the reporters. For them, there is no privacy for famous people.

That why when people said Kuala Lumpur at third place as rudest cities, I am disagree! Maybe they forget to spy how ‘rudest’ our sweetheart, Siti Nurhaliza and our Prime Minister, Pak Lah. For me, both are the influenced and symbol of Malaysian.

Then, think again who is rudest? Malaysian or western?

1. Holding doors – Malaysian did not do it for everybody but Western just do it for some people only.
2. Service with smile – Malaysian got a cute smile and when they are so busy, they will smile less than a minute but they will not use the loudest voice to customer
3. Enter the house with the shoes – rudest at Malaysia and not at West.
4. Call someone name – at Malaysia we will give a title for someone ( especially older ) such as Mak Cik, Aci, Auntie, Pak Cik, Atuk, Along, Angah etc. However, at West they will called someone that old than them with his / her name ( if you did like this, they will slap you because don’t know how to respect the older. )
5. Sulking – when the child fight with their parents and sulking, at Malaysia, they parents cannot go to their children and persuade. It is different at West. The parents will persuade their children!

Actually got a lot of examples but the point here is the researcher must have sensitivity to local culture and not compare with other’s culture. “Lain padang, lain belalang.”

Azraai

22 June 2006